Better Know a Fat Kid: Berger

Team chauffer and third baseman, despite solid numbers, Berger currently kicks 6th in the order providing run production lower in the order. He's an advocate for stopping for Taco Bell on the way home from games, but usually against that idea the following day. Among his other duties, Berger is the team trainer, creating elaborate work-out schedules and meal plans to help even the most healthy of players maintain their girth in the off-season.

He has a powerful right leg when it comes to kicking but sometimes (see: always) has a penchant for watching his kicks rather than running it out creating the LONGEST singles in the league. His defensive play is something to be aspired to, playing a shut down third base often with unnecessary little jumps before catching to show off for any ladies or photographers in the area. Though he has a strong arm to get the ball to first, his real strength comes from his bee-stinging, particularly the skinniest of hipsters.

I think I speak for the whole team when I say Happy Birthday Berger. I'd encourage you to try not to die at Silk Road tonight, but we both know that's a promise you can't make.

Kicks: Right
Throws: Right
Position: 3B
Entrance Song: "I'll Be Missing You" by Diddy when he was Daddy
Hometown: Highham, MA
Currently Resides: the AQ
Years of Service: 1
Most Indicative Quote: "Does tacos count as practice? I think it should."